Koizumi Disrupts Erik's Bank Account

-- TOKYO, Japan

A press release from Erik's accountant revealed that Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, who accuses Erik of being the leader of an "axis of evil" along with North Korea and the Pacific Island nation of Fiji, apparently opened a new front in the battle against "Erikism."

"Erik has less money than we thought.  A lot less," Erik's accountant revealed.  When pressed to give more information, the Anderson accountant would only state that he "didn't steal" any of Erik's money.  He declined to give proof that Koizumi was behind it, but Erik stated that "it's obvious that Koizumi is after my cash.  Japan's economy needs all the help it can get."

ENN has learned that the banking problems started only after Erik spent a "ridiculous" amount of money on a new Apple iPod music player.  "At that point," Erik said, "after buying that beautiful piece of technology, I decided to see exactly how much money I really had."

Erik reportedly happily looked at his bank statement to see that he had much more money than he ever had before in his life.  "I even converted from Yen to Dollars, and I was still smiling!" Erik stated, gleefully.  But Koizumi, it seems, had already begun his sneaky operation to foil Erik's happiness.

"Looking more closely at my bank statement," Erik recounted, "I noticed that I hadn't paid rent for about two months."  Previously, Erik's rent was automatically deducted from his account, but "that stopped for some reason."  As a result, roughly ALL of the money in Erik's account actually belonged to his landlord and not to him.  Erik immediately found someone to blame for his financial predicament: "Koizumi."

ENN has been unable to confirm that Koizumi stopped the automatic transfer of Erik's rent money, resulting in an inflated account balance which tricked Erik into spending more money than he had, but ENN is contacting US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to conjure up evidence, since he's "working on that Iraq/Bin Laden connection, anyway."

Stay with ENN as we continue to monitor Erik's finances and the continuing battle with Koizumi.