Free Computer Ushers In New Era of Justice for Erik

 

Photo of Erik and his new computer spending quality time together.

-- MEMPHIS, Tennessee

ENN has intercepted documents which prove that a new era in Erik's life is unfolding.  He has finally caught a break and managed to escape the clutches of the bad luck which has dogged him since his birth some 24 years ago.

At a recent, hastily-convened press conference, Erik explained the details of the story.  "It all started when I was about 6.  Wherever my family went for dinner, I always got served last.  That sucked."

Apart for the horrible ordeal of being served last at dinner, Erik also had to overcome such obstacles as having a brand new car run over by an asphalt truck, the loss of his favorite hat, and several pairs of shoes where one shoe was bigger than the other.

"The worst thing about this 24 year long era of bad luck," Erik elaborated, "was that whenever I went to a store, or a special attraction, or whatever, it was always closed.  Like, if I went to a museum on a date," [ha!] "the museum would always be closed on the fourth Monday in October or whenever I was there.  Really sucked."

All that changed, however, when he managed to convince Dell to send him a brand new laptop computer to replace his defective, two-year-old model.  "Well, they screwed up on repairing it, so they offered me a new computer.  Yeah, me.  I still can't believe it."

ENN analysts have concluded that this kind of amazing luck could not have happened if Erik were still subject to the curse of bad luck that seemed to follow him for most of his first 24 years.

"Yeah, my life has been horrible.  I mean, remember that time when I had to live without a cell phone AND without a bike, all while living in Japan among women who worshipped me?  Yeah.  I still don't know how I lived through it."

Stay with ENN as we watch Erik continue to show off his new computer as often as possible.