Erik Says Goodbye to Japan

 

Prime Minister Koizumi Celebrates the news of Erik's imminent departure with his favorite hat

-- RITTO, Japan

With several farewell speeches, Erik said goodbye to his students, coworkers, Japanese women everywhere, and the best raw fish on the planet as he prepared to leave his home in Japan after 2 years of spreading the English language, American culture, and Boyz II Men's music across all of Asia.

ENN was on the scene as Erik gave a speech to his students in which he said, "Minnasan, konnichiwa.  Kono ni nen kan wa..."  After translation, Erik reportedly said, "Ladies and gentlemen, these two years were amazing.  I have never seen so many beautiful women in one place at one time."  ENN translators were still checking their translations at press time.

In addition, Erik received a "Love Letter" from his students, which was read out to the entire school.  Among other truisms, the hand-written love letter said, "Erik-sensei, your smile reminds us of Tom Cruise.  You have a sense of humor like Ein Stein.  We will miss you.  Please don't forget about Ritto High School, because we will always remember your great classes.  Thank you for everything.  With our permanent love, Ritto High School Students."

Erik and the love letter from his students

Japanese Prime Minister "Junichiro" Koizumi, who has fought a 2 year long battle to kick Erik out of the country, was seen "dancing" at his official residence in Tokyo.  "WOO!"  he said, declaring victory.  Despite a press release from Erik which says that he is leaving Japan for "personal reasons, and to check out the women in Santa Barbara, California," Koizumi still insists that it was his actions that forced Erik to leave the country.

"I've had enough of his antics.  First, he starts teaching English to my high school students.  Then, he hits on my wife.  And now, I can't stop listening to Boyz II Men.  What's next?  Women buying a doll from Sony to help them get through the nights without Erik?"  (See related story)

Stay with ENN as we watch Erik move from Japan back to the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.