Western US Invaded by Erik

-- LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, Seventh Ring of Hell

ENN reporters at Osaka-Kansai International Airport spotted Erik sneaking out of Japan for what promises to be a "tour of graduate schools" in the Western United States.

According to eyewitnesses at the official residence of Japan's prime minister, Junichiro Koizumi, the old adversary of Erik shouted, "YES!" when he got word that Erik had "finally" left "his" country.  "This is a great day for the people of Japan," Koizumi told a crowd of Japanese men crowded outside his mansion in Tokyo.

But women across the Japanese islands were seen in tears as the news broke (first on ENN).  "I can't believe he's left me just like this," said one woman identified only as "hot girl," through tears.  When told that Erik's tour in the US was only expected to last for about 6 days, she didn't seem much happier.  "That's six days that I have to live without him!"

"No comment," Erik said, when asked whether he had decided on which graduate school to attend, the University of Arizona at Tucson, or the University of California, Santa Barbara.  Analysts suggest that Erik's trip to the US may be an attempt to settle the argument between these two schools.  (For a related story on Erik's acceptance to graduation school, click here.)

UPDATE:

Erik has finished his tour of both UCSB and Arizona, during which he "scoped" places for a new Love HQ in North America.  When asked whether he had made a final decision on the two schools, Erik would only say, "Well, let's just say that I would have like to have sampled the local, er, culture a bit more.  But I will have a decision before the April 15 deadline, don't worry."

Apparently, while at UCSB Erik stayed with an old friend from his trip to Jerusalem in 2000 and current graduate student at Santa Barbara, Lisa Leitz.  He also enjoyed several Mexican restaurants and met with many excellent professors and graduate students.  In Arizona, Erik stayed with a new friend, Jessica, a graduate student at Arizona.  He met some interesting students and some great professors.  Despite all this busy socializing and touring, Erik was reportedly still unable to make a final decision regarding where he will live come August.

According to officials at both schools who spoke to ENN on condition of anonymity, Erik must give an answer before April 15, because waiting any longer would cause women at each school to simply implode with anticipation.

Stay with ENN as we monitor Erik's plans and the reaction among local women at final chosen destination.