Crabs and Public Baths Don't Mix

The Crab

-- KAGASAKI, Japan

Reports are coming in about Erik's recent trip to the Japanese Sea resord of Kagasaki.  According to the Japanese Railway Company, Erik arrived for his reserved, express train at least two hours late, at which time he took another train to the resort, and was greeted by very courteous waitresses who stayed at work late to serve him.  "Serves them right for their late trains," Erik was quoted as saying.

After enjoying an amazing meal of crab soup, raw crab, cooked crab, and other crab delicacies, Erik then took off with his traveling companion, Eriko, for an onsen, or Japanese public bath.

At a local hotel's public bath, Erik found a spacious lobby with several thousand Japanese tourists, all of whom took notice at the entry of Erik's white body.  "Wow," one tourist was reported to have said, "He's hot!  Can't wait to see him naked!"

Sure enough, that tourist would have his chance.  After changing his shoes, Erik then went into the locker room, where a further 300 people were in various states of undress.  Suddenly, Erik found himself at the center of attention of all 300 of the people in the locker room.

"We're done," Erik said, and walked out.

Eriko was very understanding, although she did resort to calling her companion a "crab" for failing to enjoy the scalding hot water of the public bath.

Stay with ENN as we follow Erik to further humiliation, as Prime Minister Koizumi has issued an "Orange" alert for public Erik nudity.