Special Report: Erik In Thailand

Erik addresses his supporters at the Grand Palace in Bangkok

-- BANGKOK, Thailand

"Erik!" said the voice, urgently. "Erik, wake up! Get up man, we gotta go! Hurry!"

Erik snapped awake, startled. After a moment of wondering where the hell he was, he realized that it was Mike, his roommate, shouting at him. He was in Bangkok.  He also realized that he felt like he'd only slept for about 3 minutes. "What? Are we late? Mike, what time is it, man?"

"... I dunno."

"WHAT?" Erik checked the time. 6:00AM. He didn't have to get up for another two hours. "Mike, it's 5:30 in the fricking morning, man! What are you doing??"

"Oh, sorry, man, I thought it wuz... " and Mike was snoring, already back asleep. Erik sat awake, plotting his revenge, vowing to let as many people as possible know what a jerk Mike is.

And this, according to ENN correspondents at the scene in Bangkok, is how Erik began his vacation, in the Thai capital of Bangkok.

ENN has learned that Erik spent about 4 days in Bangkok. While there, he shopped in crowded, urban, nighttime markets filled with people offering him "Ping Pong" shows, fake DVDs and CDs, fake designer clothes and watches, along with assorted trinkets and completely ridiculous paintings of women in uncompromised positions. All this could have been Erik's for a "special price" of 300 baht, or roughly $0.03. "300 baht? That's kind of expensive, don't you think?" Erik was quoted as saying, as he tried to bargain the price even lower.

Erik's roommate, Mike, was happy to discover that prices at the city's pharmacies were indeed much less expensive than he had feared. On the first day of the expedition, Mike and Erik dropped into a pharmacy along with their ridiculous friends from New Zealand, Dwayne and Nicola. Mike asked the nice pharmacist for some "athlete's foot" medication, but then diplomatically stated that the problem was "not on my foot!! It's... uh, somewhere else." Dwayne illustrated, using deft, swooping hand movements, that the infection was actually located in Mike's private area. "Ah!" the doctor said, "You have it between the legs? How long this go on?" After insisting that it was not a sexual problem, Mike managed to purchase his medicine for just under $0.0004. The results of his medication are unknown, as no one has seen Mike's private area at any time in living memory. ENN will continue investigating.

In any event, after his time in the bustling big city, Erik made an escape for the south of Thailand and it's famous beaches, including one made famous in the Hollywood blockbuster "The Beach." While in the south, Erik enjoyed lounging on the beach, reading, fine Thai foods, sightseeing, snorkeling, and a wonderful assortment of women from all over Europe and Southeast Asia. "Looking, not buying," Erik clarified.

"Thailand is a beautiful place, and seriously was the most exciting and relaxing vacation I could have possibly dreamed of. I'll be back."

Stay with ENN as we track Erik's movements across Asia, as he prepares to return to the United States in August.

Photos! Thailand Photo Album