Women Flee At Erik's Whiteness

 

Could he BE any whiter?

-- THE BEACH, California

"My eyes!"  "Honey - where are you?!"  "AHHHEIIRIEEEIII!"

These are only a few of the exclamations ENN reporters overheard as they approached the beach in California where Erik was seen sunning himself in a futile attempt to darken his pasty body.

"What is that?" was the most coherent question asked of ENN reporters, and this by someone wearing specially prepared dark sunglasses.  Most onlookers fled for safety at the first hint of Erik's appearance.

When asked for comment, Erik would only state that he "had no idea" he was so white.  "After all," he explained, "I can dance.  Right?"

Stay with ENN as we keep close watch on California after Erik's arrival.  From the fair and balanced Erik news leader -- ENN.