Cairo On Alert After Erik Announces Summer Visit

-- ERIK WORLD HEADQUARTERS, Michigan

A press release authored by Erik's press secretary in Detroit, Ian Douglass, has indicated that Erik plans to spend the summer months in the Middle East.  Erik will attend the Intensive Arabic Center at the American University in Cairo.  This world famous center will attempt to teach Erik both the formal and the informal versions of Arabic -- 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 8 weeks.

Erik told a press conference in California: "I've been studying Arabic for 7 months now, and I still can barely cuss someone out.  I'm hoping these Egyptian folks can help me out."

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, meanwhile, has ordered Cairo to prepare for the visit by placing the entire country on high alert.  "This will not be good," Mubarak said, "women will be screaming for more.  We can't have that."

Japanese Prime Minister "Junichiro" Koizumi has promised to send Mubarak his tips for what he called "Erik harrassment."