Cell Phone Found

-- OXNARD, California

While dressed as a schoolgirl late last year, Erik's cell phone somehow escaped from notice and was stolen right out of Love Headquarters here in Southern California.  Just two months later, ENN has confirmed that the stolen phone, containing photographs of Erik and his associates in unflattering positions, has been recovered by Sprint agents in the lovely villa of Oxnard.

According to a press statement from Sprint, the handset was "confiscated' when some "losers" tried to activate the phone at a Sprint store.  Unbeknownst to them, but knownst to us, Sprint had released a company-wide Orange Alert, looking for this phone.  Thus, as soon as the heroic Sprint store employee began processing the phone for activation, the store's Security System went into action, locking all doors and filling the store with laughing gas.  After hysterical laughter, the Sprint employees put Erik's stolen phone into safekeeping and notified the FBI.

At a hastily convened press conference in Los Angeles, Erik again denied that he was Michael Jackson, and then declared that he was "saddened and humbled" by the discovery of his old telephone, because he already plunked down the $9,542,342.95 to purchase a replacement phone in November.  "At least this way," Erik told the throng of reporters, "I'll have two phones.  One to leave in my house in case anyone wants to steal it, and one to actually use from time to time to look cool."

Stay with ENN as we continue to monitor police reports around southern California to see what Erik has been up to lately.