Erik "Rocks" Detroit, Chicago, Midwest

-- CHICAGO, Illinois

ENN reporters were embedded with several CIA agents and Japanese security operatives trailing Erik as he traveled last week from Love Headquarters in Santa Barbara to his hometown of Detroit, Michigan, and then on to Chicago.  Erik reportedly found himself traveling "all over" Michigan and into the deep Midwest.

Several of Erik's "friends" in Ann Arbor, Michigan and in East Lansing were surprised to find that Erik had returned from the Middle East without even a scar.  "Other than his old glasses," said Anna in Ann Arbor, "Erik looks pretty much the same as he did back in May when he thought that we would get married" (see related story).  Anna clarified that she still had no intention "in hell" of marrying Erik "this lifetime."

Erik was seen in East Lansing associating with characters that he met in Cairo, including Nashwa, Dave, and Ahmed.  Their exploits included a visit to the third floor of the Michigan State University Library's notorious third floor, which is regarded by Playboy as one of the hottest hook-up locales in the country.  In fact, Nashwa told a sexy ENN reporter at the scene that "I almost never leave the third floor without making out with somebody!"  Erik and Nashwa did not make out at all, according to several eyewitnesses and Japanese security operatives on the scene.

And in his hometown of Southfield, Michigan, Erik was seen to meet with known friends and enemies Ian, Mike, Salome, Craig, Robin, and the small child Noah.  Erik failed again to steal Noah, who is ridiculously cute, from his parents. (see related story)

After traveling to his college town of Albion and through South Bend, Indiana, Erik and Ian arrived in Chicago for more tomfoolery that included a beautiful wedding, bar hopping, football-watching, and jaywalking.

Erik planned to return to Love Headquarters today.  Classes at UCSB begin on September 23, which is when Erik plans to really start slacking off.  Stay with ENN for all the latest Erik News as it happens.