Erik and James Conquer The West Coast

James and Erik in San Francisco

-- THE DOCK OF THE BAY, California

ENN reporters across California have reported that Erik and his cousin (identified alternately as "James" and "Hot-lanta") have undertaken a massive, 1200-mile tour of the entire state, causing unprecedented disruption in the state's traffic due to the throngs of women flocking to follow them around.

Unconfirmed reports have it that Erik and James "had a crowd simply dancing on the ceiling" as they sang karaoke at a San Francisco bar usually reserved for relaxed debauchery.  "But Erik and James's arrival simply got the crowd energized, and they couldn't leave without doing at least one Lionel Richie classic."

Eyewitnesses also report seeing James and Erik brave rough seas, the rain, and imprisonment to visit one of San Francisco's most foreboding tourist attractions -- Alcatraz Island.  Accompanied by two stunningly beautiful, confused, and aroused women, James and Erik managed to survive the boat ride and the driving rain as they participated in an audio tour of the former high security prison.  The women guiding James and Erik around, identified only as "Mo and Anna-chan," were overheard saying "These guys are lame -- but they sure can sing Lionel Richie."

Naturally, when Erik first attempted to visit Alcatraz, it was a bright and sunny day.  With no tickets available for the boat voyage to the island, Erik and crew made reservations for the following day -- which turned out to be the rainiest day yet in San Francisco.  "Time for another free computer to offset this bad luck I've been having," Erik said in a press release given to reporters waiting at San Francisco City Hall.

After San Francisco authorities insisted that Erik and James leave the city "at once," the duo found themselves in beautiful Monterey Bay.  Yet another beautiful woman found herself confused and aroused at James and Erik's presence as she gave them a magnificent tour of the Bay's protected state park.  The park had sweeping views of a crashing, frothy ocean, with several warning signs insisting that visitors keep away from the potentially deadly, surging water.

James took no heed of those signs, however.  In a press release obtained by ENN from Erik's West Coast Headquarters in Santa Barbara, Erik details how James led him to the edge of the water -- where the Pacific Ocean took it's revenge for years of pollution caused by Erik.  See related story.

Alison and Erik at Monterey Bay

Unnamed sources told ENN that after the Pacific Ocean incident, park rangers demanded that Erik and James leave Monterey immediately.  The cousins then found themselves heading for safety at Erik's Santa Barbara headquarters.  The following morning, ATL became 20 times hotter with the return of James to his Dirty South headquarters in Georgia.  Stay with ENN as we continue to report all the fallout from Erik and James's whirlwind tour of the Golden State.