LAX Traps Erik

-- SEVENTH RING OF HELL, California

At a hastily convened press conference at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), Erik blamed Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro "Junichiro" Koizumi for trapping him for several hours.  "Damn that Koizumi," Erik said, moments after his flight from Salt Lake City to Love Headquarters in Santa Barbara was cancelled.  After working with surprisingly friendly soon-to-be-pink-slipped-after-they-go-bankrupt Delta Airlines employees at Salt Lake City Airport, Erik managed to arrive at LAX at about 2:30am today.

Once there, LAX officials explained that nearly all air traffic to and from California was shut down due to a "communications failure" with air traffic controllers.  The failure happened at about 4:30pm on September 14 -- exactly 30 minutes before Erik's flight was scheduled to take off.  "Sounds exactly like the kind of thing Koizumi would pull off," Erik angrily told reporters as he finally boarded a flight back to Santa Barbara at 10:00am this morning.

Erik insisted, however, that "Koizumi and his cursed operatives didn't win in the end, however, because while I was stranded here, Heather Locklear had plenty of time to get to know me."  Locklear was unavailable for comment, but Erik provided ENN reporters on the scene with several photos of the two standing near LAX landmarks.  Several eyewitnesses report seeing Erik staring off into space, possibly fantasizing about Locklear.  "I couldn't keep her hands off me," Erik added.

Stay with ENN as we monitor Erik's continuing adventures with the modern aviation system -- including a rumored unannounced trip to Tucson, Arizona as soon as tomorrow.