Earthquake Makes Erik Feel High

-- SANTA BARBARA, California

USGS "experts" have told ENN that Erik was shaken by a rather serious 6.0-magnitude earthquake at about 10:15 this morning.  The trembler was centered about 100 miles northeast of Love Headquarters here in Santa Barbara.  An ENN investigation has concluded that if the earthquake had occurred directly underneath Love Headquarters, it would have caused serious to very, very serious damage to Erik's wardrobe.

"Koizumi missed -- again," Erik told a hastily convened press gaggle just outside the student center at the University of California at Santa Barbara.  Erik was referring to his long-standing feud with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro "Zero" Koizumi.  "The earthquake didn't even phase me.  I was looking at por-- er, I was working at the computer over here in the lab when I felt a little woozy, kind of like I had been smoking a little too much sheesha.  It felt rather nice, actually."

The quake lasted for about 30 seconds, after which time Erik returned to his "work."  Then, "I checked ENN and found out that I actually had been in a quake.  I guess I left all that sheesha smoking back in Egypt."

Erik experienced his first earthquake in 2001 when he lived in Japan (see related story).  "Earthquakes, typhoons, hurricanes, microwave ovens, skanky girls -- it doesn't matter what Koizumi sends my way -- I'll win every time," a defiant Erik shouted at the crowd of reporters just before running off toward the Pacific Ocean.

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